12) The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo

The Tale of Despereaux is a children's novel, for ages 7-12, but I read it because I'm planning on reading a novel to my grade one class starting after March Break, and this was the novel they voted for.

However, I've decided I'm going to have to overrule their votes, and choose something else.

This story is just a little too "doom and gloom" for grade one kids.  It's the story of a little mouse, the only one to survive his litter, to a family who doesn't really believe he'll live long anyway.  He can read, and he falls in love with a story of a knight and a princess -- only to later come across Princess Pea who lives in the castle he calls home.  He falls in love with Princess Pea, but is banished to the dungeon so the rats can kill him because he broke the number one mouse rule -- do not be seen by the humans.

It continues on gloomily from there.  There's a creepy jailer in the dungeon who helps Despereaux, but there are some other characters who are pretty evil -- the rat, Roscuro, and the little girl Miggery Sow with the "cauliflower ears" she developed from years of abuse.

Yeah.  So not something I'm going to read to my going-on-seven-years-old students.  I thought it was going to be a fun little adventure novel -- nope.  It is the winner of the John Newberry Medal for American Literature for Children, but it's just not something I want to read to my class.

I think instead we'll read Charlotte's Web, it has its sad moments but it's a little more appropriate for this grade.

12 down, 88 to go!

Full of It - Wendy French

This book was okay for a very light read... but not great.

We're constantly told that the main character has this flaw where she "blurts" what she's thinking... and she keeps getting in trouble for it... but I don't really see actual evidence of HUGE! AMOUNTS! OF! BLURTING! that cause the getting into trouble. It's very contrived.

Also, the main characters friends are so whiney. Her best friend is constantly ticked at the main character for being "selfish"... but really? The best friend just comes off as selfish and rude. I don't think that's what the author meant to do, but I just didn't get why the friend was being such a biatch... there wasn't enough evidence provided of the main character really having issues for the best friend to get like that.

So... meh. Not that impressed, but if you need a light read, it's alright I suppose.

Same review as posted at GoodReads.com

Agent Provocateur

Author: Faith Bleasdale

Publication Year: 2004

Synopsis:

Betty writes for Modern Woman magazine. Grace works for a detective agency that specializes in infidelity through "honey trapping"-- that is, tempting men whose wives hire her because they believe their husbands are unfaithful. When Betty's boss (Fiona) sends her on an assignment to profile Grace's unusual job the women clash. They seem to clash because they are incredibly similar -- that is, incredibly insecure, and bitchy.

Grace and Betty end up entering into a completely pointless bet that neither wants to do. They bet that Grace cannot trap Betty's perfect husband, Johnny. Betty's boss (Fiona) puts her up to it (after already enticing Grace to take part). Then Fiona regrets the bet. Then Fiona "has her reasons" for the bet. Then Fiona regrets the bet again. And at the same time Grace and Betty regret the bet. But they also feel they have to fight to win the bet. Then they regret it again... and.. CONFUSED ARE YOU? Me too.

Thoughts:

This book was pointless. Do not waste your time and money.

Okay, I'll elaborate...

I'd never read Faith Bleasdale before, but when I was perusing the reduced fiction at Chapters (my favourite way to buy books - I get them cheaper than at the used bookstore!), I thought I'd give her a shot. The cover of the book and the synopsis on the back sounded alright, so why not?

I'll now tell you why not.

Horrible, horrible, utter crap writing style.

Even Dawson's Creek had less pointless "character feelings" exposition than this book. Every time a character spoke, the author wrote out their feelings and oh-so-important inner-thoughts. Often repeating things A BILLION TIMES. I get it, Nicole is very maternal. Nicole has maternal feelings towards Grace. Nicole is weirdly maternal. GOT IT, Faith. GOT IT.

The characters came across as the following:

a) Drunks

b) Idiots

c) Stupidheads

On the back cover of the book Cosmopolitan reviews it as, "A sharp, funny read that will make you fight for the cause of love".

You know what, Cosmo? Stick to what you know. What's he REALLY thinking about your moves in the bedroom? is not enough to qualify you for reviewing pieces of literature. Otherwise you might recognize that this book is CRAP.

Sadly I bought two Faith Bleasdale books at Chapters that day (from now on I'm going back to my old routine; start with ONE book by a new author and if I love it then read everything they ever wrote). I'll probably give the other book I bought a chance, but first I need to get back to some skilled writers before my brain melts out of my ears from lack of quality stimulation.

I'm not even going to give you links for where you can buy this book. If you're willing to waste your time reading this book, you can waste even more time by first finding it on Amazon all by yourself. So there.